My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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