3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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