I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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