I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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