The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize