I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize