This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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