wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
