our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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