I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
