is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
