I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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