just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
