You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
