I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
