walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was CRYING into my vagina
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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