so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
