I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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