Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
