We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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