I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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