Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
