I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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