so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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