Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
