She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
