Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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