can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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