so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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