But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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