I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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