TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
