She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize