Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
