You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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