She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
