Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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