He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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