I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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