So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
