She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
