I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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