if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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