Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
