i will never coherently bang her
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
