I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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