Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
ttyl tear gas
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
