what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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