Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
