TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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