I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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