D3 body, D1 cock
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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