I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
