And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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