Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
