So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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