I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Found your dick twin last night
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
